A STRANGE CALM

In the midst of chaos, understanding

I’ve felt a strange calm over the last few days, clearly at odds with the political chaos around me. Someone is daily taking a hammer to American democracy, something which doesn’t bode well for…well, anyone except our enemies. So why, in the midst of all that, have I felt a place of calm within myself?

For the last few years I’ve been like a kid in an alcoholic family (no, I didn’t grow up in one), going on and on about things that few around me seemed interested in talking about. I remember years ago at a seminar hosted by Barbara DeAngelis, where she gave a brilliant analysis of a certain kind of relationship. She spoke of what she called “tanking.” Imagine two tanks of water next to each other, connected at the bottom by a metal pipe. In one of the tanks the water is pushed down, rushing into the other tank where it will inevitably bubble up on the surface.

The first tank is a metaphor for someone who suppresses their emotions, thus “tanking” the other person. The person tanked will find themselves with their own emotions bubbling up because they’re having to carry the other one’s unprocessed issues. What the first person denies is happening, the second person reacts to dramatically. Those observing might think that the first person is centered and together, and it’s such a shame about that overly emotional friend or relative!

I feel like that’s been me in regard to politics over the last few years. I was running around shouting, “Don’t you get it!? We have to do something! Fascism will happen otherwise!!” and the world around me was like, “She’s a little bit much, isn’t she?” Now those around me are freaking out in a way that I’ve been freaking out for years, and I can finally calm down because I don’t feel so alone in my panic.

There are benefits to this strange timing, however. I feel I can be with the upset of those around me more fully, because in a way I’ve already been through it. For years I carried the fear of something which, now that it’s arrived, doesn’t scare me as much. I’m not just now seeing it. I’ve seen it for a long time.

This wound on our body politic has festered for over thirty years, and anyone with the slightest respect for the law of cause-and-effect should’ve seen it coming. Officialdom’s refusal to see what to so many of us was obvious reflects a criminal negligence on the part of America’s political elite. In truth, we didn’t have to get here. We don’t have time, however, for too much historical analysis - of that, there will be plenty in the future. Now is the time to be response-able to the present.

I know we will get through this. I don’t know how I know; I just know. It won’t be easy, and yes it will involve struggle, and yes it will change all of us, and in a way nothing will ever be the same again. But that’s not all bad. America is facing its karma, and that’s not some silly idea to be taken lightly. The kind of pseudo-sophisticates who call that woo woo are exactly the people who led us here.

This political crisis had a spiritual source, and recognizing it is key to developing a large scale movement to counteract it. The most powerful nation in the world allowed too much suffering domestically, and perpetrated too much suffering internationally, for something not to have at some point gone terribly wrong. The challenge now is to face our karma; to learn the lesson it’s here to teach us.

To whom much is given, much is expected. We were given so much, and so much we squandered. The universe isn’t punishing us. God’s not angry; it’s just that He’s not kidding, either. The Law is the Law. What you give is given back to you, and what you withhold from others will be withheld from you. We withheld mercy, we withheld justice, we withheld care for the poor, we withheld welcome to the stranger, we withheld reverence for nature, and we withheld an olive branch to our neighbors. That doesn’t mean we’re bad. It just means time’s up. We have to own it. See it. Admit it. Atone for it.

That principle is where our hope lies. It’s important to remember that it’s a merciful universe - or that God is merciful, however you wish to frame it. With our moral carelessness, we allowed a huge hole to form and some really bad actors simply wandered into it. And that’s okay. We can change our minds right now.

Nations repent, just like individuals do. Not in some big ceremonial ritual or anything like that, just in the quiet of our own hearts. It’s not up to us what we learn in life; it’s only up to us whether we learn through joy or through pain (ACIM). America’s lesson now is to learn some humility. This country needs to come down a notch, get off our high horse, and remember the profound purpose it’s the mission of every generation to achieve. Instead of taking our role as citizens of the most powerful nation in the world as a serious commitment to the furtherance of justice and freedom, we too often farmed out our best thinking, shelved our own conscience, even treated the Declaration of Independence like a quaint relic as opposed to the elixir of truth meant to fortify and activate every generation of Americans.

But it happens. We’re human. I’ve lived a while and I know something about coming to recognize your own mistakes. It’s kind of cringe horrible at first, but ultimately remorse is a good thing; only sociopaths don’t feel it. The Atonement is a psychological process that transforms you on a foundational level. Realizing you were a jerk before, you’re more likely to commit to not being a jerk going forward.

America’s going to change now. We’re either going to change in the most profoundly bad way, or in the most profoundly good way. Those are our only two choices. And it’s a decision that lies in all our hands. This story is far from over.